Blonde haird, green-eyed Joyce Van Patten has a face that can go from an ordinary part of the crowd to a yearning object of desire depending on what the role calls for. The sister of long-time actor Dick Van Patten, best known for playing the dad on Eight is Enough, Joyce has been employing her versatility and charm in television since the age of fourteen, but began her career in showbiz as a five month old in a Sears baby blanket advertisement. After some radio and theater work as a child, her teenybopper television credits included her debut on NBC Television Theatre and The Philco Television Playhouse. But once her boppers went from teeny to full grown, Joyce blew up as the original head turner, Janice Turner Hughes on As the World Turns back in 1956, a young cruise ship passenger The Twilight Zone‘s “Passage on the Lady Anne”, and as Claudia Gramus on The Good Guys. Guys, what was really good was Joyce’s nude debut in Bone (1972). It’s the kind of movie you could never make today, and would probably feel weird just watching, since it’s in large part about a black criminal who keeps threatening to do some dirty stuff to Joyce, only when he reveals the threats are a bluff, she’s disappointed and decides to make sure he keeps his promise. It’s not disappointing that we get to see Joyce’s stuff, we promise, first when the intruder tears her top off, then when she takes it off herself and seduces him. With her fair skin and pink nips that thin blondes like Joyce have as their own brand of erotic hypnotics, you’ll be more than willing to overlook the questionable content looking over her contents. After that love making, Joyce did some episodes of Love American Style, then played Wendy’s mom Mrs. Beamish along with her ex husband (who played Wendy’s dad) Martin Balsam in St. Elmo’s Fire (1985) and returned to soaps as Helen Marsh in All My Children. Her most recent work includes Maureen Slattery in Unhappily Ever After, Rob Schneider‘s gilf girlfriend Gloria in Grown Ups (2010) which was directed by another ex-husband of hers, Dennis Dugan, and as Madge in Diane (2018). Speaking of all her children, Joyce’s legacy includes being the mom of Talia Balsam, George Clooney‘s first wife, and the current wife of the actor who played Mad Men‘s Roger Sterling Jr. It’s not a huge surprise someone with the genes of Joyce Van Pattten is making A List men, mad. Way before and after her nude debut in Bone, she’s been giving dudes a special, Joyce Van Pattented brand of boners!