Melissa O’Brien
Nude

Sometimes known as Melissa LaMartina, Melissa O’Brien makes a splash (in our pants) with her skinsational role in Call Girl of Cthulha (2014). While the sexy brunette made an onscreen appearance in WNUF Halloween Special (2013) first, Call Girl gives Melissa’s mounds the ample screen time they deserve! A humorous take on the works of H.P. Lovecraft that may not have earned the accolades of more serious stuff like Lovecraft Country and Underwater (2020), what we really love is that O’Brien’s character, Riley Whatley, isn’t afraid to take on tasks involving her chest set, including posing for a portrait that seemed to be nearly exclusively of her ass and doing some topless pole dancing at a club. But by far the best scene is the one where Riley runs down all the losers she’s dated in the past, with a special emphasis on the weird things they liked to do to her rack. The idea they got to play with Melissa’s mams is the most absurd part of the movie, even worse than tentacle faced men. While Call Girl of Cthulha has a slew of beautiful women, Melissa is the best of the breast. Melissa moved on to the killer at camp flick with the not so clever title, Camp Killer (2016), as well as the anthology thriller Terrortory (2016). Neither of those was absurd as the “wasn’t this an old SNL skit” shark movie House Shark (2017) about a great white that learns to travel on land. Most recently she starred in the clickbait authors being hunted horror flick What Happens Next Will Scare You (2020). But to be honest, the only thing we’re scared of is Melissa not doing any more nudity!