Jane March
Nude

Jane March follows the beat of a different drum. At 14, the 5-foot, 2-inch English strumpet left her blue-collar life behind for a modeling career. By 18, she was starring in The Lover (1992) and doing things with an older Chinese man that makes Mr. Skin‘s eggs roll. Jane’s realistic sex scenes exposed her young, juicy furburger, whetting the appetite for more skinage. And she didn’t disappoint in her follow-up, the erotic thriller Color of Night (1994), with Die Hard‘s Bruce Willis getting hard as Jane strutted in her birthday suit for most of the movie. Bruce found his sexy co-star delicious as he licked up sweet Jane in a swimming pool scene. After that, Jane starred in the little-known independent film Never Ever (1996), which is alternatively called Circle of Passion. Her circles of passion lay on the bathroom floor in the film’s sole nude scene. From that point on, Jane’s onscreen nudity–and onscreen acting in general–was a rare treat. She married a man who demanded that he be hired as producer on any film that she was hired for. Unsurprisingly, the roles dried up faster than our Jane March spank bank. The couple divorced and Jane came back bare a decade hence opposite Harvey Keitel in The Stone Merchant (2006). It’s a breast-tacular film that injected new life into her frustrated fans’ phalluses. Aggravating alliteration aside, we’re happy that Jane returned to acting. She’s since appeared in Clash of the Titans (2010), Stalker (2010), and Jack the Giant Killer (2013).